UCAT trauma

Helloooooo Humansssss!!

I know I usually say it's been a while even if I miss a week, but it really has been a while this time! How is everyone?

To address why I suddenly disappeared...no I did not get kidnapped or die.

It's actually worse, UCAT happened.

I'm assuming it is very obvious of what this week's topic is going to be about (it's about UCAT), so bring yourself a cup of tea and sit down, because I've got a lot to rant about.

Let's start with the beginning, around in April when our school officially launched the UCAT program.

We just finished our first ever set of official school mocks in year 12 (for us externals, these were the first ever set of formal examinations in this new school) and DofE preparation was also in full swing for our practice expedition in May (gold DofE is for another time, but if anyone wants to, let me know about any of your stories/experiences for a DofE blog post by message or in the comments).

So yes, it was a busy period, not to mention the EE (Extended Essay) had also been introduced and we had some research and course work on our hands as well as HOMEWORK - no seriously, tell me why my standard level language teacher gave me more homework per week than all my higher level subject teachers combined!?

I'm sure you get the picture by now, April to May was a busy, stressful period, and I thought there was no way it would get worse, right? Spoiler, I was wrong.

After returning from the practice DofE expedition, I fell quite ill, it took me around a week to recover, honestly, that week went by in a blur, I don't remember it too much apart from me being in bed all week (I think it was half-term) as I sleep of my fevers and likewise any sorrow.

Returning to school after hibernating was also quite stressful, because I remember panicking for a mock UCAT test in school that I thought I hadn't practiced sufficiently for. I remember leaving lesson early and then dawdling about as we were one of the first few people there, which of course gave us an extension to drown in anxiety.

The actual experience itself was one of the most nerve-wracking things I had to sit through, even the actual UCAT exam was not too bad but what made this mock horrendous was the sheer amount of people in that computer room (literally people had to use their own devices as there weren't enough computers), then the loud silence of everyone's eyes locked onto the screen and painful noise of people's mouse clicking away. I was sitting next to my friends, but it was still so intimidating just being in that environment and a bit too overstimulating.

Thankfully the actual UCAT experience, was a lot calmer, and even though the ear plugs were useless, there were dividers and weren't any intense clickers.

Anyway, after the UCAT mock, our wonderful teacher decided to display our scores for fun publicly, that was nothing short of traumatic. Then came the cascade of all our IAs and EE deadlines, end of unit tests and personal statement draft deadlines as well as work experience worries and then the official gold DofE expedition that was conveniently placed in the middle of all of this chaos, just before school ended and a month before my actual UCAT test.

I was terrified that I was going to fall sick this time, and losing a week would be the worst thing that could happen to me after losing five days due to DofE, so I literally took extra meds and zandu balm (if you know, you know).

Now the build-up to the summer for UCAT was one thing, but the actual UCAT prep during the summer was next level.

Tell me why my eyes would burn and get watery, from staring at the screen so much and so intensely; I probably have to get my eyes checked out, it was so bad that I had red patches in my eyes for days. Not to mention the mental deterioration when you are in front of a screen, friend-deprived and outside-deprived.

If there is any tip I would give you for UCAT prep, I would tell you to actually go out for walks and talk to your friends, do not turn into a hermit (trust me). One walk after a UCAT study session, literally made me feel like a new person, it was a good reset.

I remember I posted a blog complaining about my parents being social butterflies, but maybe some of that has rubbed off onto me, because tell me why after two weeks of UCAT prep, I wanted to actually go to a random get-together (keeping in mind there's no one my age with children running everywhere and aunties and uncles hanging around).

But after UCAT, it felt so liberating, to finally go out, and touch some grass (literally) and just breathe. As for my result, it was better than expected but could have been far better, but of course I don't think any score would have made up for the amount of work I felt like I put in as well as the mental strain and toll the UCAT took on me.

For now, I'm glad it's over. Whilst I do want to start picking up some of my hobbies that I temporarily dropped like blogging and dancing, I think I would have to be somewhat pragmatic with the fact that this year, is probably going to be my busiest year yet, so please cut me some slack if I forget to post, but don't worry, because hopefully this time, I don't disappear!....yeah we'll see how that goes.

Overall, I just wanted to say a big thank you to all my family and friends who believed in me and supported me through such a stressful period and a huge congratulations to everyone who completed the UCAT this year, whether you got the score you wanted or didn't, I really want you to know, that I'm proud of you. I mean it. Doing the UCAT was no joke and since I went through it, I know how much effort and stress went into your summer, so good job. The first (and hopefully worst) part is over, time to power-through the rest! :)

Good luck! You got this~

- Ravitreni Signing Off

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