Hellooo Humansss!!
HAPPY NEW YEARRRR!!!! (I am most aware that I am 5 days late)
I just realised that this title makes it seem like I am quitting blog posts, but don't worry I will not leave you yet!
I still plan on writing and yapping for many years to come.
Also many of you have reached out to me to ask about where I've been and why I haven't posted for a while. Firstly, I genuinely appreciate from the bottom of my heart for your concern, secondly, I guess I've just been quite busy recently, so today, I wanted to take this time to reflect on 2024 before looking forward to the future of 2025.
Every time I open instagram, I keep seeing at least two reels talking about how Jan to August felt like a separate year from September to December and I have never seen anything more real and true than that.
For me especially, the first half of the year felt like a never ending loop of exams and stress but just before that loop became set in stone, that whole thing fell into a void and vanished just like that, leaving only a lingering bittersweet feeling. Perhaps that pang of bittersweetness resided in the fact that I had to move on from my GCSE exams and secondary school life to sixth form and soon university.
I've never stayed at one school for very long when I was at primary, in fact I think I moved around five schools, so staying at one school for five years continuously really created a deep bond with my environment and people at my old school - it definitely created a pillow around me - my comfort zone. So when this was all coming to an end, and I knew it was going to happen from the beginning, but when it started to feel real, an empty feeling took over me....the marathon was soon to be over.
I never really talked about the end of year 11 on this blog in detail because it just felt like I never had a proper closure, yes we had a farewell day, yes we had prom and yes we had results day, but it all just never slapped me in the face like it did on the first day of sixth form, when reality stood before me, when I actually had to actively step out of my comfort zone and move on. The fact that I moved to a completely different school also took some time to settle in - yes it was across the road but one side of the road is a completely different world to the other side; I was literally entering 'a whole new world'!
Starting somewhere new for some people might be quite natural to get used to, but for a lot of us, it's a feeling hard to describe, it's like going away from home and feeling homesick at that new place.
So every time I thought about my old school, I used to shut it away, because it physically hurt somehow, even thought it's not necessarily a school like heaven (that's the best way I can describe it).
But now, a few months into my new school, it feels like I can finally give myself a sense of closure, because I now realise that even though I will most likely never visit my old school again, the memories I made there, the lessons I learnt, the friends I earned, the old me will always be me.
Except I must also remind myself that I was changing and have changed, and I've also got to accept this new world and my new self. No I am not drastically different, but my world has changed significantly which is something I am willing to embrace.
After all, until it came to reflecting upon the second half of my year, I did not realise how fantastic it truly was, with so many new things that I'd learnt meeting so many new and awesome people who inspire me so much!
And whilst so many things have changed, I am glad there have been a few things that have been constant. My constants; my closest friends and family! <3
Also, my new school is starting to feel more and more like home, while I do glance occasionally at my old school across the road, I feel quite content at my new school, and I have immense gratitude for the new friendships I have formed and the people I have met!
So as always, thank you to all of you that I had met last year, and I look forward to making more memories together!
- Ravitreni Signing Off
Beautifully written🙏🙏