Hey! Let's play a game of would you rather: Would you rather be left out of conversations by your friends or be replaced with another one of your friends?
There have been many moments in my life that I felt left out, whether it be with friends or with classmates. Particularly in primary school, I didn't know a lot of the cool trends and I was certainly not allowed to have social media, which obviously results in one thing = living under a rock.
Since I was little I couldn't make friends that easily, mainly because I had nothing in common with my peers: I would do a lot of reading, writing and dancing to gain confidence in myself but once I came back to reality after reading and writing and once I got of stage, I turned into a complete introvert. Ironically, I was put into dancing by my parents to stop being introverted and to be able to perform in front of thousands of people, I did, without being shy, but it's as if I get so caught up in the moment of dancing that I forget about the thousands of people watching me!
I enjoyed doing art too as well as singing and watching TV; so why did I struggle so much to make friends when I did things everyone did?
Well now I know the answer.
My personality.
I didn't know how to sweet talk or to talk to someone at all, my first few friends I made were the people who were supposed to look after me since I was the "new kid" but I ended up either changing schools or losing their interest with me. And yes, moving around a lot threw me at an even bigger disadvantage as every time I moved, the kids there had other topics and trends than the previous one.
Soon I ended up isolating myself and not talking to others, the only time I talked to other people would be if they came up to me to ask about a question or know my answer to a question.
That was, until I moved to a whole new area. I don't know what happened but I think it was a period in my life where I gained confidence through my hobbies, through dancing, acting, drawing and writing.
However the more confident I got, the more friends I made, the more people knew me, the more hurt I got. Why?
Well, I felt left out sometimes as I still didn't know a lot about the latest trends, so yes, I still lived under a rock!
But there was this point in my life when I started feeling insecure too, because my friend started talking to more people, and soon started hanging out with someone else, or in fact everyone but me.
Panic arouse. Was I being replaced?
Being replaced and being left out - the worst feelings you could ever feel during school days.
Everything after that was a blur for me, I don't remember how I recovered, but I bounced back strong. Perhaps from Secondary School my friendships and school life got better, maybe because we were all new and in the same boat.
Since then I never looked back on my Primary School life, whether it was in school friendships or out of school friendships. I guess you could say I am in a happy position, with the most best friends I could ask for! (Sounds a bit cliche but they really are the best!!)
I think everyone has had a feeling of being left out more than replaced so if you have been, stay strong, don't overthink it and don't try to change yourself, whether it be by looks or personality. Just love yourself for who you are..
- Ravitreni Signing Off
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